Where are the adults? More like, where are the professionals?
Updated: Jun 2
You've heard it right? A child acts out on the playground and every adult side eyes the next adult wondering exactly whose kid that is. And, it never fails someone somewhere has to casually bust out a, "where are the adults?" Um, right here lady, it's me. It was my kid who pushed your kid out of the way and decided it was her turn to go down the slide. And can I mention that your kid just punched her kid in the arm because he didn't get his way?
I think we can all agree that parenting is hard enough without being told about every single thing we're doing wrong. Everywhere you look (ahem social media) is a constant judgement zone.
So I guess it's no surprise that it's really freaking hard to ask for help. I don't mean the kind of "hey can you come babysit for a few minutes" so I can run to the store kind of help. (Although nobody does that anymore either). I mean the kind of help that strongly suggests that there is something "wrong" with your kid.
Rather its denial, mom brain, a pediatrician saying "they'll grow out of it", or just plain ignoring your instincts - more than likely, as parents, we have been in a situation where we knew we needed help but we just couldn't bring ourselves to ask for it.
I've done it. When our second daughter Lennon was born too early due to a placenta previa it came with a really rough start in the feeding department. She did okay in the hospital but when we brought her home everything went to crap. She was tiny, lethargic, and honestly it would have been easier to feed a rock. And you know what I did? Yep. Kept on trying to feed that rock. I remember sitting in our chair just crying and begging her (a 5 day old) to eat. She'd take half an ounce and fall back asleep about 20 times a day. In other words not even close to enough food.
Now, I knew she was looking a little jaundice. That was back then.
Looking at pictures now? Y'all she was ORANGE. Pumpkin orange. What was I thinking? She really should have been under a bili light. Honestly, this is a really common thing for babes born too early. Not everyone knows that but it's also the reason we head to the pediatrician directly after we get home from the hospital. But! I work in a NICU, I literally see this every day and I still, for some reason, didn't take the steps I needed to take.
Eventually we did get her to the doctor and fortunately with a little perseverance and lots of vitamin D Lennon finally turned a corner, started eating, and now we can't get her to stop.
This is just my story, I hear stories like this all the time.
What's the reason behind it being so hard to ask for help? Who knows. I guess in my case I didn't want to be the failure of a mom that couldn't keep her kid fed. Or maybe she really wasn't that orange, ha! No that's definitely not true.
I suspect that the biggest issue is we just don't know what kind of help is out there or where to go.
Through my years of newborn care and sleep consulting I have built a rather large network. I come across professions and learn things every day and I love it. Here is a very small list of professions that I'm constantly referring out to.
Physical Therapists, Occupational Therapists and Speech Therapists
In other words the birth to 3 queens. I'm not so sure about other states, but here in Pennsylvania anyone can get an evaluation for these services if you ask.
Within this group of amazing therapists you can find so many specialists you need such as...
Did you know that sometimes picky eating can actually be the result of kids not transferring eating skills from early on? Me either! One of my favorite people and go to for feeding questions is Jamie over at Functional Roots - definitely check her out.
Also known as flat head syndrome and it's prevalent. Ever since the safe to sleep campaign started there has been in uptick in plagiocephaly cases. And it seems to me that a lot of peds aren't sure what to do. Except for wait and see and then maybe put them in a helmet. The ladies over @babybegin are some of the most amazing I've seen. Their number one goal is to educate parents and keep kids out of helmets. Who doesn't love that?
Yeah our kids made up languages can be pretty cute. However, the first three years of life are the most intensive for developing language skills. Language is needed for kids to make sense of their world, so it's definitely worth an ask if you're concerned about a speech delay.
Okay, so clearly not my strong point since Lennon rocked the little kid on the playground but we try. Overall, my girls are pretty good, they have their moments but don't we all? That being said, every once in awhile behaviors pop up and I literally don't know what to do except stare at my husband hoping he knows what to do. He doesn't. I know so much of behavior stems from how we talk and communicate with kids. But we all get caught up in the moment. Check out some IG accounts for some daily ideas and tools for your back for when things get rough.
Also not my forte. We did it but don't ask me how. Just when I thought we were done both of my girls had a serious regression and decided they no longer wanted to use the potty. This 100 percent has been my biggest test as a parent thus far. And I know this will seem like a walk in the park during teenage years but, holy crap. (no pun intended) Thank goodness for potty training specialists. Rather your just beginning, not sure if your baby is ready, or are in a regression. The potty people can help you. Check out Building Confident Families
Of course, I couldn't build a list of people to help you without giving myself a little shoutout. And just like the title suggest we help you and your baby sleep. A win win for the whole family. Because, sleep does all the things.
Near and dear to my heart are NICU families. As a Respiratory Therapist that has worked in neonatal for 16 years, I see the struggles that these families go through every day. And they are not your average struggles. If this is you I encourage you to find your people. A new moms group isn't going to cut it. Check out some specific to NICU Facebook groups and our online course Tough Start Society.
And a serious shoutout to these lovely people. I didn't even know this was a thing but there are free stores for families in need, no matter the reason. I only came across these amazing sources because as a newborn care specialists I often end up with outfits, extra formula, and diapers. I'm so thankful to have somewhere to take this stuff so it doesn't go to waste.
These are just some of my go to's! The list goes on and on and on. The bottom line is if you "have a feeling" it's worth an ask.
Because, we can't and shouldn't do it all.
Peace, love, and sleep.
Are you a specialist that would like to network and get added to the list? Contact me here!